I'd guess that, by now, Life has blindsided you at least once and possibly many times—generally, while you were simply minding your own business, right? Me too, and thus I've blundered onto a few coping "strategies" over the decades that might also serve You now and then. Here are three, for example, that I'd suggest to a friend who asked for my thoughts with regard to a tough situation.
Above all, trust and draw heavily upon the smarts and moxie you've developed through
the years. Because ambushes by circumstances and/or people do sometimes take place, we're wise not only to stay alert, but also to recognize and acknowledge (at least to ourselves) when something does seem amiss. We're also wise to do that sooner rather than later, because the issue may only get worse unless/until we do.
Moreover, you may sometimes find assertive tactics more effective than the "velvet glove" (again, sooner rather than later). Although our personal strengths can often assist far better than we might imagine, we sometimes fail to use them to the extent possible and/or call upon them tardily or even overlook them entirely if we're busy and possibly
distracted. In the meantime, challenging things might be happening in our lives or those of our loved ones, with perhaps less time to recoup than we'd like.
Whatever else you do, try to keep your sense of humor out of couch-potato mode. If laughter and fun try to slack off when you're under stress,
which is practically a given, follow the lead of Jolly Cat here and
yank them back on the job. Without those two, certain challenges—whether or not related to aging—can take you down fast and hard. (Guess how I know this.)
But laughter tends to be a great antidote, so keep the yucks going as much as you can. Should you find yourself somewhat isolated
for whatever reason, maybe you can access funny movies and also audio or visual clips of comedians you've enjoyed in the past
or people you find funny now. You might find such diversions far more effective than you
expect during the hard times. Or, to put this another way, laughter can often help us hang in strongly enough to "fight another day."
This quote from an Elmore Leonard character always cracks me up: "If you can handle it, do it. If you can't, (bleep) it." But since procrastination is surely a primo tool of the devil, and the ostrich approach rarely works that well even for the ostrich, the latter half of his advice seems impractical for our purposes. Better (IMHO) to deal with challenges as they arise by assessing the situation, figuring out a strategy, and
then putting it into effect.
BUT—if you're looking at something
big, complex, or simply ugly, mean, or nasty, perhaps ask yourself a couple of questions first:
And there you have them, a few ways to hit back when hard times come calling. But if such times aren't actually here at the moment, perhaps you could use that energy for goals you may be looking at—or a fun activity you'd like to explore. (Boxing, perhaps?) ;-)
If you've already begun the "exploration," three cheers and a parade! If not, how about now...before something does come along to mess with you. Just seize the day, and run with it!
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understand three things: (a) I am neither therapist nor professional coach; (b) my focus here is primarily aging women; (c) no comments are intended to disparage any women (or men) whose immediate choices may range from
limited to nonexistent. To them (or anyone, really), I mean no
offense with my remarks.